I named this post as appropriately as I could think to for today’s word prompt. So here we go.
My heart isn’t whole. What I mean to say is, there are holes, and those holes have been filled; but their not filled with my heart. You see, my heart has been carved, and it’s been carved crudely, roughly at that.
The carvings stared when I was little: a close family member convincing me my parents didn’t love me, or at least didn’t love me like they should.
As I grew older, I experienced the carvings of “stupid teenage stuff” that truly wasn’t stupid. As adults, we tend to brush off teenage problems; but I remember that stage well, and they’re huge problems to those teens.
In college, a craven man carved more of my heart out for two years. By this point, there wasn’t much left.
I decided I needed to fill the carved areas, so I turned to God. And he did help heal them to an extent.
Then another guy carved out what I was so desperately trying to fill…and that almost made me want to give up on everything. At that point, I figured my heart was too carved out for even Jesus to salvage.
But less than a year after that short relationship ended, I reconnected with a man from college; we got together; and now we’re married. Plus, I got the package deal: he has a daughter, whom I can now call my own, as well.
And that, my dear readers, is how God filled in my carved up heart, filling it in and fleshing it out. He used my husband and step-daughter. Yes, Scripture helped. Yes, prayer helped. Yes, friends and family helped. But having those two beyond-precious people in my life has filled out a nearly destroyed heart, and for that, I rejoice.